5 Equestrian Christmas
Truths That Non-Horsey
People Will Never Understand

13 December 2018

Let’s face it, Christmas is different for equestrians and those who haven’t yet discovered the magic of horses...

And not just because the non-horsey people probably aren’t broke thanks to a feed bill issued straight from the hands of Satan.


But would we have it any other way? Of course not!


Here are five truths about Christmas that non-equestrians just won’t ever understand.

A poo-picker
is a great gift

The lie-in is an urban legend


You’ve heard about this thing called a lie in, that people do over the holiday season.


Apparently they sleep in and read books in bed until noon – but you’ve never experienced this and aren’t sure if it’s true.


The horses have to be mucked out and fed by 7:30am, so the “lie in” is a strange urban legend reserved only for the non-horsey. How do they stay still for so long anyway?


A poo-picker is a great gift


I mean sure, perfume and chocolates and books are great for most people.


But you have the permanent scent of eau de horse around you, eat enough chocolate to sink a ship on the way to the yard after work already, and really – who has time to read?


Other than forums and horse magazines and training advice, that is.


Instead, horsey people eye out the presents under the tree and dream about practical horse equipment. Maybe that red one is a new bit or bridle? Or the ever-useful poo picker? Heck, a voucher for some bales of grass or a bag of food would probably be enough to make you do a victory dance.


Time spent with people < time spent with horses


It’s an inescapable fact that holiday means loads of time spent with people. Close family, distant family, family you haven’t seen in years, friends, siblings, siblings’ new partners….the list goes on!


While you might not mind the company of new people and perhaps you’re even what some people would call outgoing, there’s no denying that the company of a few horses in a quiet yard or the aisle of a barn always seems appealing over Christmas.


Even if just for a few hours to escape the madness of the festive season. Plus, the horses don’t typically get drunk and ask questions about when you’re getting married or why you haven’t found a new job yet.


You actually want to exercise on Christmas Day


It’s a foreign concept to all but the most dedicated of athletes, and even Ironman competitors will often give themselves a day off when the 25th of December rolls around. Horse riders?


Up at the crack of dawn wanting to jump that new line or school to see whether yesterday’s lesson about leg-yielding in the trot has sunk in.


At the very least, you want to get in half an hour on the bridle paths or trails before you have to go back and help out with the Christmas lunch. And why not? Those festive calories aren’t gonna burn themselves off.


Maybe some dedicated dog lovers out there buy their dogs a toy, but most animal-owners aren’t splurging on lavish Christmas gifts for pets.


Horse owners on the other hand, are spending their entire thirteenth check on new gear for the horse. If someone says ‘but doesn’t your horse already have three blankets/a show bridle/a fancy new saddlepad’ then just ignore them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, especially at Christmas.


 It’s a fact of life that bonuses and unexpected money cannot be kept in a bank account if you have a horse, especially when it’s the season for giving! Just not to humans, ideally.


 Horses deserve the gifts more. Sorry not sorry!


To see more beautiful images of horses this festive period, follow the FEI on Instagram. 


Text by Sophie Baker